I have to go home. It's all I can think about. It's all I care about.
I don't know how long I've been away. I've lost all track of time. The voyage was for six months. Has it been six months or longer?
I managed to hide the water tight drum that washed ashore with my armor and my journal before I gave in to sickness. I just now found it, walking the shores of this place called New Haven.
After the ship sank during an attack, some men came and claimed they owned me. I was coughing and throwing up on the beach. I had never heard of such a thing. They did not understand finger speak and they were not interested in learning. Another woman in chains explained it to me. They sold a lot of people who had survived a dragon scorch. I felt bad for the survivors of the dragon scorch. They had already lost everything and now, in a weakened state, they were being sold to forced work.
When it came time to sneak me into a town and sell me, I lost my temper. I raged as I used to do when I was young. I didn't think at my age, I could rage anymore. I hate it. I like control. I like a rational mind, calm and collected. Able to make decisions. I want to write and think. I want to work on not being called "barbarian" all the time. I want to learn but raging takes all of it away.
When I finished raging, I was alone again. I don't know what happened to the men but I close my eyes and I see their faces. I have an idea what happened to them. I'm not sure. I don't care. I think it was probably someone else who saved me. I'm too old to rage. I will not think about it too much. It's not important. Is it?
These men found me and put me on a ship and told me it would be all right. I was tense and nervous. They told me I could stay and die or go to the safety of New Haven. I do not trust them. I hate them. They swear they are helping me and will not hurt me. I want a sword and shield and I am surprised when they give me them.
My back has healed for the most part and I hide it from the people on the ship and the New Haven people. They are an interesting group of people, these New Haven people. The dragons have destroyed the area for miles and miles and they are together. They should not be together but they are. I would like to know more about everyone here.
I'm curious. I will stay and learn things here for a while but I must go home soon. I don't think I belong here and I miss my own land. I keep trying to force myself to talk but my throat has tightened and it hurts to speak. I will talk again as soon as I trust again. My throat hurts. I still don't trust these people. I'm not sure I like these people.
What if they try to sell me? What if they want me to fight? Why give me weapons when you know I don't trust you?
Even with the blazing sun, giant spiders, and giant scorpions.... I still want to go home.
They have a tavern with mead. I will get a drink and think of home. I have to think of a way home. I have to hide my back for just a while more. People here have bigger concerns as they live together and try to find peace.
I only need a drink and a way home. Something this simple is easy enough to ignore.